Blogging for Two!: 41 Weeks, Blog Post #100 - Life from a different perspective

September 26, 2011
By: A NEW Guest Blogger

A totally new guest blogger has agreed to write for our 100th post milestone. It is presented unedited, so reader discretion is advised.

I had it so good, and now it's gone. Noise all the time, being roused from my favorite spots. Not being able to eat in peace. F&%$ my life.

Before going any further, I suppose I should introduce myself for those who have not had the pleasure of me humping your leg, er, making my acquaintance. They call me Meigs, and I am the labradoodle living with Matt and Cyndi. Yeah, I'm part poodle but don't let that fool you. I sound like a mean SOB from the other side of the front door (nevermind that I slink away faster than you can say "Who pooped on the carpet?" when you walk in the door). I'm generally pretty lax but lately.... well, we'll get to that.

Those first few statements can accurately summarize my last few months as a dog. You know, when the twins first came home from the hospital, they made a little noise, but other than that, I could not care less. They had the same lifestyle I had adopted: eat, sleep, poop. But now that those two are mobile, I practically have to sleep with one eye open. For example, I have a great spot under my kitchen table which I have claimed as my domain from the beginning. It's protected on all sides except one from intruders, and everyone else seems to respect that. Not Tyler and Zach.

Here's how a typical morning goes: There I am, chilling under the table, and here comes one, maybe both, dragging themselves across the floor until they are just inches from my paws. Here come the little hands, grabbing and pulling without regard to my tranquility . Ugg, ok, I guess I'll get up. Whatever, I'll just go over to my bed underneath the TV. Shit, it's 830am and I've been up for an hour - time for a nap of at least 2 1/2 hrs. I close my eyes for just a few minutes, and boom, here comes the other one looking to take a handful of my fur as a souvenir or something. I mean, I know my fur is soft and luxurious, but that's mine, man! Unless I'm getting a belly scratch or butt rub, I'm not interested. Keep your hands to yourselves.

I'm well aware of the pecking order around here: Meigs = bottom. I know this because after Matt gets up, he gets the twins' food ready and then goes to gather them from their nursery, brings them downstairs, and they get their bottles. Hello?!? I have not relieved myself in like 11 hours! More importantly, I gotta find out who has been doing their business all over MY property. And hey, there may have been some fine tail roaming through the yard while I was busy doing, uh, whatever it is I do all day. (Disregard the fact that once I do go outside it's not like I expunge my waste with great haste. I often walk, sniff, walk, sniff, fake like I'm going to pee, then my ADD kicks in and I'm off to the next smell before I'm able to get a drop out.)

So after the morning is spent dodging those two, I'm feeling a little famish and remember I heard the sound of kibble hitting my bowl a few hours back. Sure, I'll go get some breakfast. Halfway through my meal, which I am scarfing down because I know what is about to happen, I feel someone trying to grab at my tail. WTF, brah? I let you eat in peace, how about extending me the same courtesy?

I must admit though, it is not all doom and gloom when T&Z are around. Licking their faces has become favorite pastime, and I think them eating solids is going to result in a goldmine of dropped food for me. I've already been getting some of those little puffs things and a few bananas covered in Cheerios - almost as good as the Goldfish that seem to continuously drop from the table. Bring on the handfuls of mashed potatoes and pieces of filet!

All in all, I have a great life -- it used to be a fantastic life when it was just the three of us, but I guess there's no going back now. I do look forward to them throwing me my ball and rope and chasing them around the yard.

Now, as your reward for making through my rants, pictures of me!!